My Birthday? And a poem...

Hey Mark,
Not too much is happening right now, I'm still posing as Emily. We just took OWL testing and I feel a little bit unsure of how I did, could I really have pissed Corvis off badly enough for him to fail me? Of course perfect prefect Nathanial the wonder boy will have done well, it would be so nice to one him up. Anyway my Birthday is still on its way, not that I really care, you know in all the time Jake and I have been dating I don't think either of us knows when the other persons birthday is...in a way its nice because our relationship runs so much deeper then that, but on the other hand I should be giving him presents and it does feel sucky to be forgotten about again by everyone else. Hmm, what else is there? I guess it was rather odd when I walked into the library and heard Nathanial quoting me and Ruby plotting to make him date Angelique, somehow I find myself invulved in some elaborate plot...cool? Umm so yeah, if Ruby tries to boss me around Emily or not my wands flying, I don't care about this gimic that much. Umm...lets see what else is there now? I wrote a poem...want to hear it?

I remember the first day we met,
back when we were young without a care,
and all the times we sat and talked,
and all the fun times that we shaired.

I remember late nights out,
and dancing under the stars,
having too much fun,
and those cold prison bars.

I remember moonlight,
when you would hold me in your arms,
kiss my neck softly,
and keep me safe from lifes harms.

I remember the quiet,
that sometimes came on the phone,
and the way you would act silly,
every time we were alone.

I remember late nights,
and football with the guys,
your forced trips to the mall,
and shairing our french fries.

I remember you,
the way you used to be,
the way you would care,
and the way that you loved me.

Alright Mark, thats about all I had to write about... I hope that you like my poem, but you know I was really thinking about life after school, I mean modeling seems like a good career right now, but is it really stable? Is it really something that I want to go into? I'm just not all that sure... and I mean...my grades right now are not bad, if I try for more N.E.W.T.'s then who knows what I could do...I know I'll become a death eater, I mean...I'm sure of that. You wanted to be a deatheater so thats what I'm going to do, I still like to think about what it would be like to be like Angelique or Purity or someone. I mean people like Kina and Angel have the whole world on their side and everything going for them, they are pretty and don't need to fucking starve themselves when they diet, I bet Angelique has the perfect metabolism... Gah. I know I shouldn't be jelous of them Mark, they are below me...and you...I know it. But sometimes I think that if I was one of them and had a choice...or I mean I wasn't going to follow in your foot steps I might have been a Protector of Hogwarts or done something important with my life in the ministry, maybe teaching...just so many things that are not open to me because of our master...I know I shouldn't speak of this, I should rip this page out...I love you Mark, I will be like you, forgive me for saying otherwise, the Dark Lord WILL prevail. Good bye.
-Your baby sister Jessie who is having doubts.

A new persona

Hello,
My name is Emily Gentaline Smith, I have dirty blonde hair, am somewhat short, love make up and dancing, and can be really shy before you get to meet me. When you do meet me and trust me I can open up and be a really fun loving person and sometimes the life of the party, I am 'single' and don't think boys will ever like me. I do well with my studies and have become a female murauder, sound cool?
Well actually thats not exactly true, sorry to say Mark life isn't as wonderful. In truth I am acting like Emily Gentaline Smith and am of course and as always Jessica Williams. I am stressed beyond belief, trying to live two lifes that are both going to heck, and am worried sick about things that havn't happened yet. I do have blonde hair, but I'm somewhat tall, my birthday is coming up soon and I bet no one will remember, and you know why? Because I just never mentioned the fact that I had a birthday, haha...sweet 16 and no one has any idea...just grand.
-Your adoring and loving baby sister Jessie who misses you deeply and resents the parts of her that are both Emily and Jessica and wants things to be like they were when you were alive.

Broken Glass and Broken Dreams

Mark,
Not much to say now, I tryed some spells and ended up hurting myself. I will do my best not to give up on the promise that I made to you all those years ago. Mark I love you, I'm so sorry...I wish you were here, Jake is wonderful, he is my passion, he is my love, Mark if only you were here, if only you knew...I love you Mark. I need to go, I have a lot of work to do...good bye.
Your baby sister Jessie.

Welcome to WAR!

Mark.
Haha, you have no idea of the kind of stress I have been under. I heard from a reliable source that Voldemort was not at all happy with the FDE. He thought of it as a fan club. And so I went to Professor Valwood to get rid of it. That was after the prevoked fight of Valwood and Liesel of course, which might I add did nothing to help my cause. I arrived at Valwoods door and told him everything, of course two of my fellow Slytherins were there, Ino and Malloren. Haha! Well, they can just wait and see what will happen next. Malloren is sworn against me, and is planning something, although what I do not know. He will have a hard time getting to me however, because there are only four members in the FDE that would dare help him. Jessica was the leader so their main member was out of it, and working against them. Jake was her boyfriend and they had been engaged for 2 whole years, there was no way he would ever in his life side against her. Ashley was a Gryffindor and had since left the school. Pat had joined with the KEy Club, Grettle wouldn't care. There was no way she would even bother, she had only joined in order to make Nathanial suffer. That left Daria, Ino, and Malloren. Jessica and Ino had become friends, but not very good friends, so it was possible that Malloren could win her over. Daria and Jessica had also become friends, but Daria was a friend of the dark lords, so she would probubly side with Malloren. On the other hand if she knew the truth that the dark lord hated the FDE then she might be less inclined. Jessica felt confident that it would come down to her and Jake against Malloren and Daria, which was what it was looking like right now. And she could handle that. Malloren needed to be put in his place, he was simply a pathetic third year. And Jessica had been ready to serve since before he was born. On the other hand Daria could prove a problem, but Jessica once more felt confident in her abilities. Aside from that, she was not going to start anything, if they wanted to lose Slytherin house points, that was their fault. She would defend herself, but for once in her life THE Jessica Williams was not going to start it. So thanks for listening Mark, I suppose I got a bit carried away with a third person diary entry. I just feel that there is not much to worry about, Jake and I will always have each other, and that is all we need. And besides that in three years the professy will happen and I might not even be alive, so what does it matter if a few Slytherins hate me? The whole school hates me, and thats the way I like it. Thats my cover.
-Jessie.
Ps. I say we let the war begin.

I've been thinking.

Mark,
I have been thinking. And I have grown tired of associating with the FDE. I may have started it, but never did I dream that it would be so discraceful. It's turned into a fan club for Voldemort. And I can not stand by and let my reputation fall to ruin because of these new members. Jake and Grettle were one thing, both understood what they were getting themselves into. But these people have no idea about the power that the dark lord posesses. I have reason to believe that he is not happy about the FDE. I am going to tell Professor Valwood about it imediatly. I have to. Otherwise I may not be brought into the good graces of the dark lord...besides that. I'm sick of having teachers hate me.
-Jessie.

Leave me alone

MARK!! I think I'm going to cry. You don't know how much I miss you. I love you so much. Why are you gone? MARK!!! Come back to me... please...please. My tear drops hit this paper and they will not bring you back, nothing will. WHY? WHY NOT? WHY WONT YOU COME BACK? I love you...Mark. You don't know how terrible it is here. Froyodor found my diary and he must have read it to all of the Hufflepuffs because RUBY KNEW ABOUT YOU!! She knew about how I didn't have any friends and she knew that you passed away. Do you have any idea? Mark... I miss you so much...I guess I'm getting ahead of myself... here it is. Mark. I walked down to the lake, I was going to practice for that Commercial so I wouldn't have to go home for the summer, and some of the hufflepuff girls were there. They were going to give Kaily a make over. I REALLY wanted to help. I love make overs, and I'm good at them. I was trying not to make it look like I wanted to help and it was sorta not going my way, then some girl came down when I called Ruby big nose and started telling me that I was stupid. I got really upset, I've been stressed out lately. Nathanial and I have a lot to worry about, the only difference is people GIVE HIM A BREAK. I just don't know what happened, one minute I was going to try and help with a make over, and maybe have some fun, the next we had our wands out. MARK. Why arn't you here for me now? You promised me that you would be! YOU PROMISED!! Mark, I don't even know if I will be able to look back and read this the page is so wet. MARK!!! I can't live without you, who is going to be here for me when I fall and when I don't know what to do? You were my ONLY friend, the only one. I can't believe your gone... maybe if I had come to grips with it sooner this wouldn't have happened. Ruby knows about you, and she isn't afraid to hit below the belt and use you against me. She is terrible. Mark I'm scared, I'm sad, I'm lonely. I need you, I need you to be here for me... please. My reputation is going to be ruined now, I'm going to have to pick a ton of fights just for people to think I'm THE Jessica Williams. I am a future death eater, and they will not discrase me! I am a follower! I am better then them! No matter what I must remember what you wanted. I did not chose this life, you did. When you died I knew I had to fullfill your dream to become a death eater and serve the dark lord. This is why I live, this is why I wake up in the morning. Mark. Why did you have to go? Please...please come back. How am I supposed to put up with these teachers and students? Valwood doesn't want me in his house. Corvis can't stand me. O'Brennan doesn't like me. Froyodor is obsessed with my breasts. And I don't know the other teachers. Ruby and all of the Hufflepuffs are always intent on making me suffer, the ravenclaws too. The other future death eaters have deserted me, and even some slytherins don't like me. I can't talk to anyone but Jake, and what if he didn't like me? He is the only person I have grown attatched to since you brother. I just can't bear another loss. I don't know what else to say, I need to go cry some more. I just... I just don't understand why I can't be like the others. I need to be like you. You were strong. You were a pureblood slytherin, you were better then me. Brother, I will be what you were going to be. One day I will help your dream to come true. PLEASE WAIT FOR THAT DAY. I will be there in heaven with you then and everything will be fine. I only need to live for three more years and then I can stop. The protectors wont need me, the dark lord doesn't need me, Craven doesn't need me...and I don't know about Jake. I need to go, brother I love you. I really do, I'm so sad, and scared. I just don't know what to do. I can't let those girls think that I am scared, I can't. I need to keep my reputation. They have no idea how much it means to me. Aside from Jake it's all I have left, my reputation, and your dreams that I will fullfill. I love you Mark, with all my heart and soul I love you. Please wait for me...Mark...please...I love you. I really do. I just... I can't live without you...Mark....
Your scared sad sister Jessie.

A true story

A small girl sits outside wearing a pink top and purple skirt, bandages on her knees from falling while trying to skate like the other kids. Her hair up in messy pig tails and a tear in her eye as it starts to rain. Her stockings are pulled up, one over her knee, the other falling down. The rain falls down and she sits on the porch getting wet, the water starts to run together with the tears on her face fogging up her glasses. Her parents are busy, off doing work to keep the family alive. They didn’t really care about her anyway. Her father and mother married young and had two children; boy, and then 5 years later a little girl. She was that little girl. Her brother was still in his elementary school in the fourth grade. But she was in kindergarten so she got out three hours before him. She had no one to talk to, and the doors to the house were locked so she couldn’t get inside. She was glad it was raining. The wind blew and soaked her inside and out making her freezing cold, but still she was happy for the rain. If it had been sunny the other kids would have been playing hopscotch or catch and she would be watching them with mournful eyes because they would never let her play.

A small girl started to get older without any real friends in school, she got picked on and made fun of all the time. Her brother was in high school and was busy a lot of the time, and her parents still away most always. Her brother was her only friend and helped her through the hardest points of her life. She struggled in school because she was so worried about what other people thought of her and started failing all of her classes. She tried everything to get them to leave her alone, she tried ignoring the kids, but that didn’t work. And then she turned to other ways of getting them off of her back. She started to get into fights and ended up getting hurt badly. She got sent to the office and expelled from her school. Her parents were upset with her, a third grader should have known better. They sent her to a new school and things weren’t much better, her brother had started teaching her some things that would help her with bullies and he gave her a wand. But she did not get much from her exchange of schools. She made friends with a girl named Brittany and found out later that she was not a true friend and had only bothered with her on a bet. The girl was devastated. She still fought through it all however; her brother helping her every step of the way.

A small girl was sitting at home one night alone eating a TV dinner at the kitchen table quietly. She was waiting for her parents to come home with her brother from a trip. Her brother was going to become a follower tonight. She had wanted to go desperately but her parents had told her no. So she stayed at home quietly thinking about her brother and how proud she was and how happy he was and how he was going to tell her ever detail of the event when he got home. She sat in silence then quietly as she finished then got up and threw her plate away and washed her fork off putting it away. She turned off the light and walked up the stair case. Looking into the rooms she passes she saw the bathroom and then her brothers room. Marks room. She looked at all the posters from bands like Papa Roach and the bed covered with a black comforter. She smiled, his T shirts were all over the floor as usual and it made her feel at home knowing they were all there. She passed her parents bedroom where the door was closed and went into her bedroom at the end of the hall. She undressed and pulled on a lime green night gown that was too small for her and had a hole in the lower part of its stomach. She turned her light off, took her glasses off and climbed into bed.

A small girl in the middle of the night heard a sound and got out of bed. Her father was home and panting. “TURN OFF THE LIGHTS!” He yelled slamming the front door and locking it. The little girl ran to do as she was told. When she came back from her bedroom after turning off the lights her father would not tell her anything, he was sweaty and had a large cut on his right arm. She decided that it was best to go to bed. She climbed into bed and tried to sleep but couldn’t she was scared, she wanted her brother. The next morning when she awoke her father was gone. It was Monday. She walked downstairs and got out a bowl of serial from the cabinet. She walked back over to the table and set it down realizing all the milk was expired by a few days. She looked at the newspaper that was sitting on the table; her father must have left it. Craven didn’t clean up much. She read the words printed on the cover and she froze, “APPREHENDED 3 DEATH EATERS, TWO KILLED.” The girl read the words then looked down the article, they didn’t have names, but they had pictures. Her mothers and two other people, a male and a female were in prison. And beside that her brother Mark and another boy were lying dead in the dirt. The moving picture showing no motion except for the wind rustling some leaves. The girl dropped the paper and started to cry. This girl was Jessica Williams.